Hello everyone and a warm welcome to PART 6) of the entries for my weekly: “Fiction in A Flash Challenge 2021” Week #43.
Today I’m featuring a contribution by Mark Bierman.
I set the following Challenge:
Hello everyone and welcome to my new “Fiction in A Flash Challenge!” Each week I’ll be featuring an image and inviting you to write a Flash Fiction or Non-Fiction piece inspired by that image in any format and genre of your choosing. Maximum word count: 750 words.
Here is the image prompt and Mark’s contribution.
“Captain BriIlaagisetogainalihandet! They’re closing in on us!”
“Argh! Landlubber knave! How many times do I hafta’ tell ye, not to call me by that name! It’s hyphnatted now!”
“What?”
“Shortened! Like yer life, if ya’ call me that agin! It’s Bilgerat that I goes by, on these seas.”
“Um, right, of course. Meant no offense, sir . . . ah, Captain Bilge rat . . . er, I mean Bilgerat. It’s just that, well, do you think it was wise to steal the light house keeper’s secret recipe, for peanut butter brittle? He’s set the Royal Navy on us, and—”
“Ye be a quakin’ in yer booties, I see. Got nary a stomak fer the high stakes game of the buccaneer!”
“Ah, sorry, I’m a bit new at this. Oh hi, by the way, my name’s Rick. My first time working on a pirate ship, and all. We haven’t met, but I know—”
“Pirate! Ne’er use that word on this ship agin, or you’ll be shark chum! Got it! It’s not jus’ fer my sake, but yur’s too. Ya’ know, a man can’t do this fer’ever and some day ye’ll be walkin’ off into the reel world. Git yerself a wench an’ settle down, have a coupl’a kids an’ then you’ll be needin’ a job. ‘Magine puttin’ pirate on the resume! Argh! Best to put buccaneer, sounds best.”
“Um, Okay. Actually, speaking of shark chum, are you quite finished with dragging Bertrand behind the ship. I mean, it’s been a day since he broke into your stash of chocolate coins. You know, the ones you thought were real, until they melted in the sun.”
“Bah! I knew they’re choc’late, scallywag! I did! Don’t ye be eyeballin’ me that way. Who told ya’ that lie? Argh! Ne’er mind! Firs’ n’ fourmos’, do not be questionin’ my discipline means. Secondly, he’s floatin’ on a piece of crate from the croissants we stole from the French bakr’y. But yer right ‘bout that. He’s slowin’ us down, so best to cut ‘im loose. Take your sword, lad.”
“Wait! Bertrand makes delicious waffles, and he knows where to get the best cream and strawberries.”
“I know’ ya’ picaroon! It’s jus’ an espression! The blade is fer the ‘gulls. Keeps ‘em from getting too close an’ usin’ yer ‘noggin’ fer an outhouse!”
“Oh, yes, Master, Bilgerat. Nasty things, those birds. But before I go, I want to—”
“What? Know ‘bout if it was worth the recipe? Yay, I say! My Nanna used to make it best, and this here keeper says his is better, it’s all o’er the seven seas! See my tooth? The last one, and I’ll not be wastin’ it on brittle with the taste of sea glass. I swore an oath to dear Nanna, that I’d steal the recipe and find the truth. If it’s better, I’ll burn the recipe. No one bests Nanna!”
“Oh, you’re doing this all for your Grandmother, how swee— I mean swashbuckling, of you. But there’s one more thing.”
“Speak of it, then shutpan your mouth, an’ do as your told!”
“Well, um, how do I put this, you seem to be moderately good, sort of, at your job. You turn that large wheel thing, like a pro, but perhaps you need some brushing up on your navigational skills.”
“Ye be talkin’ yerself to the plank. Can ya’ swim?”
“Um, I don’t think that’ll be necessary, either the plank or the swim.”
“Nec’ary! I’ll tell ye’ what is that! As long as yer under these sail’s, I be tellin’ ye what’s that!”
“Okay. Fair enough, but I think someone might have a slightly different opinion.”
“An’ who might that scallywag be? I’ll send him to the Locker!”
“Oh, that would be the lighthouse keeper. You see, we did a full circle and—”
“My ship! Weigh anchors! Argh! It be too laaaatttteee!!!”
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Mark can be reached here …
Blog Mark Bierman Adventures in Writing
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I can be reached here …
Thank you so much for stopping by. Your comments are always appreciated.
This made me laugh, Mark. I love they went after a peanut brittle recipe, and then hadn’t left!
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Good one, Mark
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😂
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This was such a fun story, Mark! You always make me laugh. 🙂
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Lol, Mark! No one bests Nanna! 🙂
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I loved this story, Mark…especially the dialogue. You nailed it! 😃
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I got a kick out of this, Mark. Especially the shortened form of the captain’s name 🙂
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Haha, Mark, jolly well done. Thanks for sharing, Suzanne. I hope you had a good Easter.
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My Easter was lovely, thank you, Robbie. I hope yours was as well. 😊
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Yes, it was very nice, Suzanne, much better than last year.
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Hilarious, Mark! You had me from the first line! “Captain BriIlaagisetogainalihandet! They’re closing in on us!”😂 Great job!
🌸🐣Happy Easter!🐥🌸
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