Those of you that know me are well aware that my mind goes off on on some fairly (Okay, make that really) weird tangents. Blame it on the weather, water supply, self-medicating … or just sixty-three years of observation and a whole lot of laughter.
For those of you fortunate enough not to have made my acquaintance yet, run, while you still can.
With that in mind, (mine, not yours) I ask you to picture this … if you will.
A young couple have been texting each other for a few days-weeks-hours. They finally make arrangements to meet face-to-face and phone-to-phone and decide that it’s time they took their relationship to another level.
Yeah! THAT other level.
Anyways … after they decide whose apartment is closer, using the google map app, and knowing they can order in using Menu-Log they head off for an evening of friends with benefits. Or, SEX as we called it back when writing was done on papyrus.
They decide on location. His apartment wins by 2.5 miles. It smells of unwashed sox and a fully loaded kitty-litter tray … but in the heat of passion, she doesn’t notice.
No pre-emptive romantic stuff. Throw back a few drinks, or something equally as numbing and away they go!
The clothes are off, the bodies stripped of designer label concealment … and so it begins.
Oh, did I mention that they are both clinging tightly to their cell-phones? No? Well, trust me, they are. (This is my little story, right?)
He kisses her, gazes into her eyes and waits … his phone buzzes.
The text message reads, “ That was, u know, nice.”
She smiles and kisses him in return. And, waits.
“Yes. Your skin smells great.”
He moves his free hand lower and strokes her. And…yeah, he waits.
“OMG.”
Taking that as a sign that things are moving right along he proceeds further …
She texts …“Can u take a selfie of my face, while I’m, you know?” Then the waiting thing again.
”Like, that’s such a cool, idea. U take one of me too?”
You know the drill.
“Wow, I’ll bet we are the first people in like ever to have done this.”
From here on I’ll just type the initial W for the waiting thing.
W.
“Yeah.”
She texts. “Um, who first? (SERIOUSLY!)
W.
“I like think it better be u. Cause, u know, if I do then um … u know, I kind of … u know, can’t get a selfie of u while u like … do.”
W.
“Oh. Lol. Yeah.”
W.
“Is it good?”
W.
“Amazing. I think u can take that, selfie, like, anytime now.”
W.
She texts again. “Did you get it?”
W.
“Sure did.”
W.
“Show me.”
He holds the phone to her …
W.
“OMG! I’m like, wow, happy.”
W.
“My turn?”
W.
“Yeah, but can u make it like really fast, my phones almost out of charge.”
W.
“Oh, Ok. I’ll tell u when.”
W.
W.
W.
“Now.”
W.
“So, like, was it ok?”
W.
“Yeah! Take a look at the selfie.” She holds the phone to his face.
W.
“Wow. I feel like we really connected, u know. Can I C U again?”
W.
“This could be something um … special, like … really special, yeah?
W.
W.
“Yeah.”
And so, dear reader, the young um … lovers, exchange their real last names. Via text of course. This being the equivalent of taking her home to meet mom and dad.
So, are you sitting back nodding or shaking your head in agreement or despair at the “Younger” generation … ? Let me take you on a trip down memory lane (my memory not yours) er-hem.
Circa Late 1960’s. My generation.
Ah, yes … we were SO different. Weren’t we?
I mean sure we had a the whole cultural revolution thing happening, worldwide, there was free love ( a term which still amuses me) ain’t no such animal.
A population explosion, ensued. (Gasp! Really?) Hippies, flower power, Woodstock, Dylan, Hendrix, Janis Joplin…OUR music, right?
We marched in protest against the Vietnam war, when most of us didn’t know where the hell Vietnam was. Never considering for one moment that the protests themselves whilst well motivated were a slap in the face to all the boys who had gone off voluntarily to fight it.
The political world was in giant upheaval…ah, yeah. Well gee that’s really different.
We smoked our pot, had sex a lot, and complained about the older generation not understanding us .
Sounding familiar yet?
This generation, I’m talking circa 2017 now…are they really so different?
I think not. They are still playing the age old song, only the orchestrations have changed.
Anyways, that for what it’s worth is my take.
Gotta run…my guys on his way over, and the damned phone’s not charged
Like, um … seriously?
Sigh.
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From BQB HQ in fabulous East Randomtown, the Top Ten Signs that Your Girlfriend Might be a Damn Zombie:
Since the age of five I’ve been a performer. I’ve written radio comedy, sketch comedy and plays, produced television and radio, worked as a creative director for an arts and entertainment magazine, and published numerous humorous articles and essays. Add appearing in operas, musicals, and a movie, and one would wonder how someone who has entertained so much, has so little. Well, I’ll tell you…but wait, that would be stupid, because I wrote the book on having what it takes, and now want you to buy my book on knowing what it doesn’t.
With Angels Wings is the true story of Laura, a young wife and mother of a three-year-old daughter. Her husband, Kevin, a marine, is deployed overseas, leaving Laura to give birth to their second daughter and handle the two young children on her own.
Welcome to the World of Suzanne Burke. 